I now have a 4 year old and an 18 month old and it has come to my attention there are many things I did with my first that I haven’t done with my second. Obviously we all parent differently. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel that guilty as both girls are very different and either way I’ve spent equal time with them. Can you relate to any of these?
1. Baby clinic weigh in.
With my first born I went every month to have her weighed to make sure she was following the line (whatever it even meant). With Mila, I went once, she was fine, I never went again.
2. Baby Groups.
With Alana we did Baby Sensory, swimming, ballet and playgroups! I don’t think it really helped as she is now frightened of the water.
With Mila we’ve only ever done Ballet which she really enjoys. If not for the music then certainly the social side. There’s just no time to do classes with a toddler when your 4 year old is demanding other things.
3. Mum Friends
I never did the whole NCT thing with either of my kids but with Alana I did join a mummy group WhatsApp and realise quite quickly the ones I got on with and from that grew our little mummy group. Most of us now have 2 children so it’s chaos when we all meet up.
With Mila I did join a group but quickly left as I just didn’t have the time to respond to 83 messages each time. Mila doesn’t really have any little friends of her own age but I don’t think it matters really, she’s very social and very confident.
4. The Wonder Weeks
For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s an app where you can track any ‘leaps.’ With Alana i would constantly be going back to the app and comparing her then mood to a leap she may go through.
With Mila I got as far as downloading the app.
5. Tea in bed
Every morning with Alana I could sit in bed with a cup of tea, tv and cuddles while she drank her milk.
With Mila we’re down the stairs with milkshake on every morning, no chance of all of us staying in bed.
6. Picture Greeting cards
With Alana I remember making up lovely Christmas cards with a picture of her followed by thank you cards etc.
I really wish I had done this with Mila but honestly time just seems to fly by.
Alanas 1st Birthday Party and all the others have been quite big. I can’t even remember what we did for Milas first birthday but I put it down to the fact she’s a summer baby so a bbq is always a winner.
8. Constant pictures
I was constantly posting pictures on Facebook etc of Alana, 1st smile, 1st laugh, 1st crawl etc etc even my baby bump pictures month by month. My husband did a daily selfie with her.
Mila does have photos taken but it’s just sporadic and quite often photo bombed with her older sister.
Kate at Modern Mum also agreed and said she had a 4D scan with her first (twins) but no time to do that with her next children.
Same here! No 4D scan for poor Mila.
9. Bath time
We bathed Alana every night with her bedtime routine. Must keep her clean and wash off the dirt of the day.
Mila we just let the dog lick her clean. I’m joking obviously but now we bath the girls together usually every other night but sometimes even more. A bit of dirt never hurt anyone. (They are cleaned before bed).
With your first born you are constantly worrying if you’re doing things right. Worry if they have a sniffle, they only crawled at 10 months when someone else crawled at 7 months. You worry if another child snatches or pushes them.
Child number 2 comes along and becomes the confident child that snatches & pushes, has a cough that lasts for months on end and it doesn’t matter when she crawled. You’ve done it before, you’re doing a great job so you embrace it. Enjoy each age, each phase because it doesn’t last long. Child 2 may have missed out on many things but they certainly get lots of love.
Kate at Five Little Stars agreed with this one and said “She over analysed everything with her first born, the confidence due to your experience makes you enjoy motherhood with your second even more!”
Debbie from My Boys Club has a great one, “sleeping when they sleep”. No chance of that with two children!
Heledd Jones has also written a similar post Here over at Yummy Blogger.
Can you relate to these?